I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I won't apologize to a one balled man
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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