My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
