I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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