I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i think i have herpe
just one?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
