So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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