and next time when you feel me up, do it right
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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