Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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