Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
