Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
