at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
