i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
