Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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