At least make sure they are 18
Why
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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