It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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