You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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