And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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