are you still at the devil's house?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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