What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
