member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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