his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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