Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
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Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
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I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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