you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
