Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize