it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
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the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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