I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He felt like a one man threesome
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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