I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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