I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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