I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
