Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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