i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
