So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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