dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
