i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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