Her vagina should come with caution tape.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
