I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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