i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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