Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Is it penis luge time yet?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize