For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize