The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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