It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
