Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
