Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
