Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
