why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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