its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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