The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So apparently I’m into choking now
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