her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
