I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
