im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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