P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
