i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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