Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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