Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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