Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize