He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
