Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
