Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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