Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
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Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
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All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.