Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
