I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
